Being Brave-Putting The Big Girl Panties On (And Other Lessons Of Adulthood)

Facing our fears is NOT a fun task. 

As Natasha Sunshine, owner of Byuti Salon in Santa Monica, taught me last year when I attended a SMARTY entrepreneur event she held, FEAR "should" stand for:

FALSE
EVIDENCE
APPEARING
REAL 

So, if that's the case, what are we supposed to do when the evidence isn't false? When we find out that a friend may have lied to us? When we suffer the loss of a loved one? Or perhaps, when we get diagnosed with a life threatening illness? These aren't my fears but they could be some day.

Just last week, as I faced my current fears head on in Los Angeles, I heard the following statement...TWICE.

"It's time to put your big girl panties on."

(Thanks Liz Dennery Sanders and Nada Jones)

What does that mean? Can men have "big boy panties" too?

Of course they can, since the statement, by my definition, means:

• To deal with things like an adult. 
• To find a solution for your roadblocks. 
• To take care of your health. 
• To prioritize your time. 

These tips have helped me be brave and forge ahead, big girl panties and all. (For my part, it took big girl panties to post this.) 

1. Don't get mad, get clear. What is it that may be frustrating you about the situation? Concentrate on the facts. Do you feel as though you have not been heard? Can you see the other persons perspective? What is the solution? I am all about expressing one's feelings so I am not saying don't feel "mad." Take it from me, being Armenian and Irish, sometimes getting mad about something is only natural. But it won't do me (or you) or the other party any good to fester. Take time to collect your thoughts and figure out a way to communicate your disappointment or frustration without finger pointing.
2. Take responsibility for yourself.  You always have a choice when it comes to your life. At some point, you have to accept that good or bad childhood, your dead end job--you control your choices. If your career isn't going in the direction you want it to, perhaps you should take a class or seminar. Expand your network. Launch your own business. The possibilities are endless. All that matters is you remain in control and accept responsibility. 
3. Your health is your wealth.  When I woke up this morning, one of the first things I came across on my Twitter feed was an article entitled, "Pizza and Ramen Are Hurting Your Start Up." So true! We are what we eat, we are what we think. Having realized this (for the 100th time this weekend) I finally went to the grocery store and stocked up on groceries; most importantly breakfast!!!! No time, no problem. Toast an english muffin, spread some peanut butter on top and pair that with a glass of Orange Juice and you've got some of those basic food groups covered. Make sure to balance the diet with exercise, get plenty of rest. Nothing can happen, good or bad in your life, if you aren't here. 
4. Accept criticism but don't hang around with too many skeptics. You and I are not perfect so there may be a time when you hear that feedback. Hard as it is, I read a quote that summed it up best. "Criticism is a part of life. Sometimes it's warranted. Address the valuable, ignore the juvenile and move on." Sure, there is a little truth in everything. The last part of this quote is key--move on! You don't want to be around someone that ALWAYS brings you down. Find your support group, be it friends or family. Balance is essential to helping you remain in reality. Criticism helps you change (hopefully) and praise keeps you motivated. 

And there you have it. The brave way to deal with life. Sure, it's not always going to be as simple as I have made it sound HERE. Hopefully the fears will be false. 

But if they aren't, just think of that Pampers Song "I'm A Big Kid Now."

You sure are. And when a big kid gets knocked down, they get back up AGAIN and AGAIN.