Business Breakups: How They Help You Develop The Ultimate Hustle Muscle

Business relationships. 

Boss to employee. 

Colleague to colleague. 

Entrepreneur to client.

Business relationships can often be as complicated as romantic relationships especially when it's time to breakup. On the plus side, unlike romantic relationships, business breakups are the kind of breakup where you can often really, truly see that things are no longer meant to be. Each party has grown and gained the most that they can from the relationship and staying together won't serve either parties goals.

My first business breakup was with my old boss at an HR consulting company. This boss was a mentor to me and man oh man, was he tough at times. His famous line was: “You’re only as good as your last sale.” 

Back then, at the tender raw age of 23-24, those words were really hard to manage. 

I would often think to myself, "I just busted my rump and jumped through hoops to close this deal. Can't I revel in it for a few moments and celebrate the experience?"

In retrospect now, what he really meant was “Keep hustling. Keep chasing. Don’t ever get too comfortable or settle for less. There is always another opportunity out there so get off your ass and go grab it.” 

I was so torn at the notion of leaving that company. I had it made in terms of telecommuting, traveling, earning commission but I hit a creativity ceiling. The inner artist in me had died and it was time to bring her back to life. To this day, I remember the lesson and have even reframed it to: "Since your last sale was so good, your next sale can be even better!"

The next business break up that followed nearly crushed me! I was consulting for a close friend. At the time, I was a pretty stubborn personality when it came to business since I was so used to doing business a certain way. What I didn’t realize back then (and my friend totally did) was the power of the upsell, the power of selling both a product and a service. I also didn't realize that there are a variety of different ways to achieve success in business and rather than maintaining a position that "I knew it all", that I could lose the ego and truly approach each and every business transaction with an air of "how can I learn to do things differently? To do things better? How can I learn to evolve in business?"

That business break up was by far one of the most difficult. We had mixed business with friendship and there were a lot of boundaries that were blended, out of care! You start sharing opinions, you get into money stories, other friends get involved in the mix and then things just turn into a pressure cooker! The one thing I truly treasure about the experience is that she always (and probably still does to this day) went to work with a smile! She was so good at what she did, she had such a positive energy about her always. Lesson learned: be open to learning new ways of doing things. YOU DON'T AND WON'T EVER KNOW EVERYTHING! Also, if you aren't waking up with a huge smile on your face everyday when it comes to your job, you need a business breakup pronto! 

Professionally, things were great for a few years. The business breakups were minimized. Then last fall came another one. 

As an entrepreneur working with entrepreneurs, you can’t help but get involved and feel like you are a part of your clients company’s and a part of your clients journey. You can feel their joy and their pain which makes moving on even more difficult. 

That said, I had never made it a secret to this client, or to anyone for that matter, that I wanted to launch Startups and Stilettos™, especially as I was completing Marie Forleo's B-school program. My energy shifted, my model was shifting and I no longer wanted to be so consumed with certain day to day social media tasks. My client needed more from me than I had the bandwith to give. That, and her vision had grown. She was pouring herself into her business and needed people who could do the same. 

I looked at her commitment to her brand and company and realized I needed to put that same kind of hustle muscle into my business. The time finally came when my client and I parted ways amicably at one of the tipping points in their business. I was ready to move on, to wish her well and to look ahead but I was so shocked by the tears that came up when we finally said goodbye. 

I had genuinely worked as hard as I could and got things to a point where I had to let go to meet my goals. But it wasn't easy especially when she did thank me for my hard work on taking them to the next level of her brands social media. The journey between us was over and it was very VERY, VERY bittersweet. I am so thankful for that experience particularly for the fact that we both understood we wanted and needed two different things. Lesson learned from this business breakup: it's never going to be easy to walk away. But if you want to move onto bigger and better opportunities, if you want to truly find your destiny, you have to listen to that inner guidance telling you to go! Don't ignore it or you may find yourself unhappy, angry, stagnant and just missing out on all that life has in store for you. 

Now what does all of this advice have to do with YOU?

Is there a job you need to move on from? 

Do you have a client that isn't complimenting your business model anymore? 

Are you ready to break up with corporate america and venture out on your own?

Stop putting it off and do it now. 

Your business breakups aren’t going to be any better than real life break ups. But perhaps they can teach us a lesson or two about love and loss. 

There are plenty of fish in the sea. 

There are plenty of oysters to open and find your pearl. 

Take the beauty in each and every single situation, personal or professional. 

As my close friend (and mediator) Suzanne Schwartz says, "Don’t get bitter, get better!" 

Better as a business person, better as an individual, better as an entrepreneur. Clean slate. 

Maybe my old boss was right in saying "You’re only as good as your last sale!" 

It's a new day and there are plenty of opportunities worth cultivating. Get that hustle muscle going! And trust that the best has yet to come. Let the past go with a grace and ease knowing that you can't even fathom all the success awaiting you on the horizon. And remember, "Since your last sale was so good, your next sale can be even better!"

Do you need some support to help you through your business breakup? Jump on over to Facebook.com/jaclynmullenmedia, say hello and we will gladly offer you any tips or advice as you transition during this time. 

What's Keeping Your Soul Sewn Together?

The long black dress. Not little. Not formal. Simple, black cotton. First spotted in Midtown Manhattan near Grand Central Station. I had been walking for about 40 plus blocks and stopped just beyond the New York Public Library. (The one where Carrie gets stood up by Big on her wedding day).

I noticed my reflection in the window first. I looked tired, worn out and yet, energized by the city. Next, I saw the window displays with beautiful clothes--summer outfits adorned with bags worn by mannequins with awkward poses. That's when the long black dress caught my eye. There was a sign in the window, $12.00. The store was H&M.

It had been nearly 5 months since I made the decision to be bi-coastal. With that decision came two rents, my recurring car payment back in LA, subway fares, groceries double the price. Living between two cities wasn’t a matter of budgeting, it was a matter of sacrificing. And that long, black $12.00 dress was tapping into my temptation bone. I justified all the places I could wear it. “Black goes with everything.” It wasn’t so much the $12.00 I was resisting. I had learned a new responsibility about discipline, sacrifice and money and I didn’t want to throw those lessons down the drain with one impulsive purchase. Just then, my inner lawyer started another side of the debate.

It’s $12.00. 

You have been working SO HARD. 

For crying out loud, you are walking from 14^th street to 71^st to save on subway fare! 

You’ve been eating peanut butter and jelly for dinner for a week. 

Go ahead, get the dress. You won’t regret it.

I was in and out of the H&M store in a flash, long black dress in tow. As my imagination served correct, I would wear the long black dress the very next day. It made me feel ultra feminine and slight hipster. 

A few months later, I would wear the dress on top of a peak in the British Virgin Islands for a Goddess Circle with a powerful intuitive and amazing group of women. I would then wear the dress to Florida to visit my grandparents. And that’s when my $12.00 treasure almost went to the long black dress graveyard.

We’ve all heard the term you pay for what you get so my long black cotton dress, through it’s physical trips and travels and those trips to the washing machine, had started to come undone. Actually, it was one of the straps that held the dress up. It was clearly becoming unattached and I panicked. I already had enough challenges with trying to grow a business and make it in two cities--I certainly didn't need to flash anyone. 

Just then, I remembered, “Hey, my grandmother used to sow. I am here with her now, perhaps she can help me.”

My grandmother was 81 years old. Aging had made her very depressed and sad at the loss of her independence. 

I will never forget the smile on her face the morning we sat at the breakfast table chatting. Inspired by my BVI trip, I was playing UB40's cover of "Can't Help Falling In Love With You." My aunt had come in with the long black dress and asked my grandmother in Armenian to sow it for me. I don’t speak Armenian, and my grandmother was aware of the fact. Perhaps my aunt asked her in Armenian in case she declined. Maybe she’d be embarrassed. Within a few minutes, she had her sewing kit out. That's when the huge smile grew across her face and an even larger smile grew on mine.

My grandmother wasn’t just sewing my strap back together. She was leaving me with her touch, always, right there to the left of my heart, always within reach anytime I looked at or would wear my long black dress.

I don’t believe I had the long black dress packed with me on March 8^th, 2012, when my grandmother died. It’s hard to recall that period in time, and what I was wearing. Similar to how I had felt that day on the corner of a busy street in Manhattan, I knew the time would be another lesson in responsibility, sacrifice and discipline.

Almost a year after that, April 19^th, 2013, I stared at the long black dress hanging on a door seam. My father had been in the hospital for over a week and I would wear the dress to feel my grandmother's spirit with me, to feel her strength, to remember her smile through yet another difficult time. Only the responsibility and discipline were far greater. 

I would have never known, some 3 years prior, that this darn $12.00 dress would become a metaphor for life. For learning how to treat yourself to something you want, for rewarding yourself for defying the need for daily instant gratification. For remembering that even as people pass, their imprints on our soul, the lessons they’ve instilled in us, the morals they have left behind, do not.

So, I hope every single one of you that reads this finds that one possession or two in your closet or jewelry box. The one that most people think or assume serves you on a materialistic level. But it’s that one piece or possession that reminds you how far you've come and that you deserve to be rewarded. To be strong yet nurturing. To be able to sacrifice and also learn to acknowledge ourselves in the same instance.

To long black dresses, to little black dresses, to rewarding discipline, hard work and sacrifice and last but not least, to keeping our souls sewn together no matter what may happen in life.

What's keeping your soul sewn together? 

Want to keep up with my adventures in entrepreneurship? Looking for a little advice on marketing, mentorship and making it happen for yourself? Perhaps you just need a little nudge to create content, connections and communications. I welcome one, I welcome all. So come on over and join me at Facebook.com/jaclynmullenmedia